Am I crazy, but are filipinas very insecure and jealous girls?

[hellolechon]

My fiances insecurity's I driving me crazy and we are not even togeher yet. She is so jealous about everythng and everyone. Is this the culture? is this the way it is?

[Pluma]

To some degree. I doubt she will change, so if you cannot tolerate it now, you need to make a decision about continuing the relationship.

Maybe her prior experiences with men has caused her to be this way. I think you need a serious discussion with her.

Best of luck.

[JAMESandMARDY]

Originally Posted by hellolechon

My fiances insecurity's I driving me crazy and we are not even togeher yet. She is so jealous about everythng and everyone. Is this the culture? is this the way it is?

first and foremost long distance relationship sucks! was I ever jealous before...yes! the thought of my other half was on different side of the world and the time difference..it's a hell! Am I just being paranoid..maybe..or maybe I am just cautious since I've been in a failed relationship before. There never was a day that I didn't wonder of what was he doing/who was he with? How many people gone astray because of physical absence of their other half?(someone should do a statistic for this..lol)! Don't you wonder, what if she's right there beside you..then probably you have all the time in the world to enjoy each others company at this very moment. And what if somebody else's come along the way and would fill in your emptiness? I am sure this is just a few lists of your fiancee (if not all the girls) worst nightmare.

I trust my husband who is then my fiance' but I don't trust the circumstances of temptations. I also have my insecurities but I have started to tone down and have learned to compromise. He always re-assures me that nobody in this world that he likes to spend the rest of his life with but with me. But of course your situation might be different. Just try to figure it out first, if her action is merely out of "distance anxiety"(hope its the right usage of word), then maybe you can both talk, let her speak out her mind and try to ease of whatever fear she may have in your relationship...

goodluck! hope this link would help too...

Tampo

[TheJawsman]

My lady can be jealous sometimes...it's frustrating that she doesn't want me to have even female friends. Although I've haven't been completely honest with everything, this is really wearing on me.

When I started talking to many girls online, there are a few of them that I'm friends with, and I've been talking to them as long as I've been talking to my lady. For whatever reason (age, circumstances, etc.) I am not in a relationship with them.

My lady however, has a hard time accepting this and thinks it's "easy" for me to give up talking to them. What she doesn't realize is that well, I can't talk to her all the time and I can't just tell my other friends to go away permenently because my GF is insecure about them.

When I'm talking to my GF either on the phone or on yahoo, I am completely there for her and talking to noone else, a fact of which I ensure her whenever I'm asked.

Bottom line is that especially in a long distance relationship, she needs that constant assurance that she is #1 in your life. And long distance lets the mind wander...

[paul1orr]

I have to admit that this has not yet happened with Genn yet. She does not appear to be jealous (so far). But having read these things in cultural study and forum posts I feel it is well worth addressing.

1st is that it is inappropriate for a man to have lady friends outside his relationship IF THE WIFE/GF DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. This is known as cheating even if it is perfectly innocent because if it is then why does she not know? If she were to find out, how would it look? How would it look to you if she was talking to a guy you knew nothing about and how would you feel? Is she planning to leave you? Is she unhappy with something in the relationship.....oh no, what will happen to me? Put yourself in her shoes.

I also have many good female friends in chat and here is how I have handled the situation. I am up front with them that when Genn comes her (If actually) that I will no longer be able to communicate with them as it would not be appropriate...simple. Not one has had a problem with that and all have said that Genn is lucky to have me since I am so devoted to her and concerned about her feelings. Several have expressed that they wish they would find someone like me (if they only knew....LOL).

Now there are also several special friends I have for whom I have developed a true love. Not a romantic love. None are in competition with Genn for my love. They are at a completrly different level more like family and that is exactly how i have described them to Genn. I will not use names but here are the special relationships:
1. A 25 year old girl in Cavite who has become pregnant by one of the PIG Kano's online that are only interested in sex but promise love. Did it and left, great guy. now she's stuck. Her father who she was very close to is dead and she was going to abort. I talked to her and laid out all the alternatives after which (several days) she decided to keep the baby and thanked me saying she wished she could have talked to her father and would I be that for her. How could I refuse and I would not want to refuse. I love this girl now, really like a father.
2. Another lady in Cavite, 42 years, 2 kids, never married. She thought I might be the guy for her but i explained right away my relationship with Genn. We became close chat friends and she now refers to me a Bro and me to her as Sis.
3. & 4. A 19 year old and her 52 year old Auntie. This girl from Friendster asked me to be Kuya (and I am very honored) after I advised her about caution in online chat with men. We had some long religious discussions and she really felt i cared about her, and I did and do. That is why she asked me to be Kuya. She told her Aunt who raised her and we began chatting also. Now they are family to me as well. Inday and Auntie. They are in Cebu island.

Genn knows about each one and why. She has expressed no objection (yet). So I really have my own extended family in PI all ready. How about that? These are some truly special people in my life. Not one has asked a thing from me except that which I to give freely....my love, respect and honesty.

I will have no female friends outside our relationship that she does not know completely about and I would gladly give her the opportunity to communicate with them if she likes.

Paul