She doesn't initiate interesting conversation

[back2eden]

Hi, this is my first post to this Forum, as I am a new member here. This is a question to the guys out there, as I need some advice.

I've been dating a Filipina woman who is a darling. She is incredible sweet, loving, thoughtful, sexy and more.... She has completely changed my feelings towards women after I had gone through some rough relationships with American women in the past. At this point it looks like the relationship is getting serious and I just have one nagging fear/concern inside of me. While she has everything I could ever want in a woman, there is one area of lack and its that she rarely initiates any interesting conversations. I've asked some other men who have dated Asian women, and the following is what is suggested, "Asian women tend to make very good wives and have superb domestic skills. But if you want to discuss philosophy or have intellectual conversations with them, forget it...."

Right now, I don't necessarily need the "intellectual stimulation" because I'm stimulated in other ways....I'm just worried that in the future, I could get bored or frustrated. Am I alone in this concern? Or is there any advice the guys could give me .... I've actually dated a few Asian women before I met my current gf, and it seemed to be the same with all of them. I LOVE them, but the conversation needs to be kept "simple" and "romantic" but not deep or insightful....Other guys seem to say that you don't have to have interesting and stimulating conversations with your wife, that is NOT what marriage is for....you can have those with your friends...Would appreciate hearing some feedback on this one....

Thanks!

[rogershover]

I'm just a simple type of man myself, but I can relate and I'm sure my wife can too. When I accompany my wife shopping she asks me my opinion on fashion, since I have very little concern for fashion I say as long as she is happy with it and it suits the purpose for which it is intended, it's fine with me. When I am doing a project and buying the material or making decisions on what to do, I know not to ask. Sometimes I have to explain the process, but I don't mind. My wife is such a big help in so many ways and I love to be with her, just to be with her, and we just get along most all the time without much problem. She has her filipino friends which I enjoy too, and I have my friends too. It's not so different from any other relationship except for the fact that my wife has been more help to me than all the others combined, and we are dedicated to each other to honor our promises and commitments. My wife is a wonderful match for me. All you have to do is decide what is really important to you, and how much you are willing to dedicate yourself to her and she to you. Good luck and be fair to her and yourself.

Roger

[JAMESandMARDY]

ok, if you want intellectual conversation let her speak on her own native language i'm sure she has a lot to say...my point is, sometimes language barrier could be a part of the problem. In my case, when I first got here in the US, I seldom initiate conversation cause I am too conscious with my filipino accent. Though english is our 2nd language in the philippines, we hardly would use it unless we're at school, not even during conversation with friends.

Right now I am more in exploring my vocabulary and on my accent.

[treecat]

yup what they said... English is a second language in the Philippines not a first . Many of my fiancee's friends were nervous to meet me because there English skills were undeveloped but then they heard my Tagalog . As your fiancee gets more practice with her english she will learn to express herself better.

tree

[TheJawsman]

My lady's English is very good based on her experience working at call centers. However, I find myself taking more initiative when it comes to conversational topics, still.

It should be well known that it's been scientifically proven that women talk more than men...

Bottom line here is to help her improve her English skills, and then she'll be more willing to talk to you

[paul1orr]

I would agree with everyone else posting here and add.........
Most Provincial women in PI do not have a lot of exposure to philosophy or other deep subjects and the school system isn't very good. That and add in just a dash of daily survival and I can't imagine there are too many times that deep subjects are EVER discussed there. My X fiance is from the Dominican Republic and it's the same situation there. We were together 7 years and that never really changed much. None of this has to do with intellect. My gf is very bright and so is the x fiance but a lifetime of survival does not easily turn into deep conversations.

Give her a break and let her be who she is. If you want to change her then you are not being unfair to her and yourself. Love her just the way she is and she will do the same for you. Do you like to sit on the couch and watch chick flicks with your girl and to have her leaning against you the whole time? Do you like your gf paying so much attention to you and your needs, making you feel important? Those are most likely her needs as well and a sense that you are a rock and she doesn't have to worry about survival anymore. She wasn't raised to be a brilliant conversationalist so don't put that pressure on her. She will improve with time and language skills but don't expect a discussion on the theory of relativity.

Ok, I'm done, God bless all.

[paul1orr]

Sorry for the poor sentence - then you are being unfair............

[paul1orr]

I would agree with everyone else posting here and add.........
Most Provincial women in PI do not have a lot of exposure to philosophy or other deep subjects and the school system isn't very good. That and add in just a dash of daily survival and I can't imagine there are too many times that deep subjects are EVER discussed there. My X fiance is from the Dominican Republic and it's the same situation there. We were together 7 years and that never really changed much. None of this has to do with intellect. My gf is very bright and so is the x fiance but a lifetime of survival does not easily turn into deep conversations.

Give her a break and let her be who she is. If you want to change her then you are not being unfair to her and yourself. Love her just the way she is and she will do the same for you. Do you like to sit on the couch and watch chick flicks with your girl and to have her leaning against you the whole time? Do you like your gf paying so much attention to you and your needs, making you feel important? Those are most likely her needs as well and a sense that you are a rock and she doesn't have to worry about survival anymore. She wasn't raised to be a brilliant conversationalist so don't put that pressure on her. She will improve with time and language skills but don't expect a discussion on the theory of relativity.

Ok, I'm done, God bless all.